I HATE BUGS!
by Tjin
Summary: Xander should have brought a can of RAID!
1. Chapter 1

I HATE BUGS!

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(A/N) This Plot Bunny has been attacking me for the last while and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out.

Here it is, hope you all enjoy it.

-Tjin

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My name is Alexander LaVelle Harris.

I was born in Sunnydale California, North American Continent, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy, Dimension 1198 on the third Parallel.

I write this so should I die my story will be known.

Even if it isn't believed.

It all started with the Mayor, he was over a hundred years old and was setting up for an ascension, we couldn't kill him because he was invulnerable to damage for the last hundred days before the ascension, he had managed to corrupt one of us already, a slayer named Faith and she had turned to the dark side after a series of unfortunate events.

We were getting desperate to stop him when we had managed to get hold of the box of Gravlok that he needed for the ascension ritual.

He countered by kidnapping Willow.

After much debate we settled on a swap, Willow for the box.

We planned to double cross him of course but like I said, killing him was impossible.

Banishment on the other hand, that was something we could do.

We set the trap with almost paranoid precision.

You have to know that to effectively banish something it doesn't really matter if you know where you're sending them.

It's not important where they are going.

The important information is where they're being banished 'From'

Or in this case where we were.

More specifically Sunnydale, California, North American continent, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy, dimension 1198 on the third parallel.

Everything went according to plan, we traded Willow for the box and were all ready to set off the trap.

That is when it all went to hell.

Mayor Wilkins decided to double cross us by opening the box and letting these armored spiders that were inside kill us.

I realized he wasn't going to pull an evil overlord and just let a couple of them out as he fled but instead intended to stand there and watch them kill us.

Deciding to throw caution to the wind I activated the runes we had hidden on the floor and caught the mayor in the dimensional banishment spell.

This would have been fine accept for one slight problem.

The dimensional pocket inside the box interfered with the spell and we all started to get sucked in.

As we all fought to hang on to something I realized what the problem was and tackled Wilkins trying to get the box closed.

I think I managed to do it too when the next thing I know I'm landing…

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"HARRIS! Close that Damn book. LISTEN UP YOU APES! Bravo Company is pinned down in some shit hole valley unfortunately numbered Valley Six-Sixty-Six, our job is to go down there and kill things and break stuff. Now are those orders too complicated for you?" the battle scarred veteran shouted and continued without an answer. "Secondary objective is to get to Bravo Company's team sixteen and relieve them on the southern approach so they can fortify team six on the north and we hold the southern until the nine-hundredth rolls in sometime day after tomorrow." He said in a simple no-nonsense voice that warned everyone that he would walk into hell to achieve his objectives and he expected no less from his troops. "DO YOU GET ME APES?" he shouted as Xander joined every trooper in the age old confirmation.

"WE GET YOU SIR!"

Looking over the troopers he was tasked to lead the older man focused on the four new recruits and some young buck reporter that had decided to tag along. "Welcome to the Roughnecks."

--

Putting the recorder into his 'If I Die' Earthforce issued every trooper Xander triple checked his rifle and armor before looking over at the three recruits he had just finished training with.

And one in particular.

"Hey Dizz, Dinner at my place says I bag more bugs then you." Xander bet as the redhead looked up from her rifle with an almost feral grin.

"Dinner at the FlagHouse if you lose." She countered as she named the most expensive restaurant open to active military personal. It was named the FlagHouse because you had to be Flag rank to afford their meals.

Considering it a moment Xander matched her grin and walked across the transport to seal the bet.

As the two shook on it Rico watched with a smirk before patting Xander on the shoulder in mock sympathy.

"If you need some extra cash to pay off the bill I hear Medical pays good money for unneeded kidneys." He said with a grin as the red drop light warned them they were on final approach.

Double checking the restraints on their own jump packs and the troopers across from them everyone nodded and waited for the yellow light warning.

Considering he was dropping out of a transport moving at two hundred kilometers an hour at five thousand feet and hoping the small belt packs slowed them down enough they didn't splatter on the ground behind enemy infested lines, Xander wondered again why he was doing this.

As the yellow light blinked on, he looked down at the ancient scar he had gotten two years earlier when he came to this dimension and nodded.

He really hated Bugs.

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(A/N) So, here we have another fic that I promised myself I wouldn't write.

So love it, hate it, don't care or what, just PLEASE Review?

Ooh and this is crossed with 'Starship Troopers: Roughneck Chronicles' an excellent CGI series that was released in 2000 I think.

I personally preferred this series to the Movie, though I don't think the movie wasn't as bad as everyone else said it was.

Yes I know they started on the Pluto campaign and didn't know about the Bugs then, but what the hay, this wrote itself and I'm not going to argue with it.

P.S. I have never read the books

P.P.S. I Don't own BtVS or Starship troopers.

Hope you all enjoy and Review.

-Tjin


	2. Chapter 2

"You okay?"

Dizzy Flores turned to glare at the speaker before looking back at the tank of fluid that she had been spending all her available time with.

"He shouldn't have done it." The redhead said sadly before slamming her fist into the medical tank. "Damn it, Harris, you better get better so I can kill you for being so stupid." The M.I. Trooper growled before turning towards the other occupant of the room. "Sorry about that Johnny, did you need something?"

Johnny Rico watched his childhood friend a moment before pointing towards the door. "L.T. says we have a long patrol in six hours, you better get some sleep." He said and watched as Private Isabel Flores walked out. Waiting a moment to make sure she was away, Rico turned back to the tank. "You better get out of there soon Harris, Dizz owes you a meal and she gets cranky if she can't settle her debts." the Trooper said before leaving the dark haired soldier alone in the softly lit room.

--

Xander stood in the darkness as he listened to the reports coming in from around him.

"Targets spotted, multiple hostiles, incoming from Six o'clock."

"Incoming from Twelve."

"All units FIRE!"

Xander squeezed the trigger and ignored the urge to blink from the flash of the weapon as he kept the fire up until his target was down. Turning his weapon from the downed form as it disappeared in a puff of dust, Xander focused his fire at the next vampire that was attacking his squad.

Taking his finger off the trigger Xander frowned as he shook his head. "I never fought vampires this way." He said as he looked over his shoulder at the rest of his squad.

"Xander lookoOut!" Buffy yelled as she leapt over the stunned Scooby and brought her sword down in a heavy swing that severed two of the massive insect's legs, dropping under its snapping maw, the Slayer stabbed up and through the monster's body.

Xander blinked as he looked around at the graveyard that was swarming with arachnids of all forms. Gritting his teeth, Xander brought his weapon up and fired at the nearest monster and dropped the crossbow as the bolt was shrugged off by the monsters armor.

Pulling his dagger out, Xander set himself to take on the creature when a scream turned his attention to his best friend.

Spinning towards the sound, he felt the impact on his chin before he collapsed to the ground. Shaking his head, Xander looked up at his father as the massive man glared down at him.

"Stupid Punk, you think you have what it takes to make me do anything?" the man growled before reaching down and grabbing Xander by his shirt and jerking him up.

Xander closed his eyes as the rancid beer breath washed over him.

"YOU INSIGNIFICANT WORM, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A TROOPER, YOU ARE A WASTE OF PERFECTLY GOOD MEAT THAT WILL GET YOUR FELLOW TROOPERS KILLED! WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE WORTH THE TIME IT WOULD TAKE ME TO TURN YOU INTO A SOLDIER?"

Opening his eyes, Xander looked into the furious eyes of Career Drill Sergeant Zim. Snapping to attention, Xander belted out the answer. "SIR! THIS RECRUIT WILL NOT QUIT, SIR!"

"Damn straight Ape, they're coming over that hill in the next fifteen minutes. Fleet was unable to stem the tide and we got tagged to clean up their mess. We are outnumbered three thousand to one at the best estimate. We have the third army moving up to support us, all we have to do is hold this speck of mud until they get here to smash these bugs into paste." Razak said before turning towards the sound of approaching legs. "Roughnecks… OPEN UP!"

With a roar, the seven man team rained fire into the oncoming enemy.

--

'Dizzy' Flores cut a warrior bug down with a sustained burst of automatic rifle fire as the rest of her team moved to support her while she advanced on the last remnants of the infestation for this sector.

As the last bug fell, Lt. Razak opened up communications with fleet and reported the all clear.

Checking her ammo, Flores cursed again for letting the idiot, Xander take the job himself.

Twenty one thousand bugs against seven Roughnecks was odds not even Razak's legendary team should have been able to pull off.

Swallowing, Flores remembered the flash of light that had heralded the atomic death of the majority of the arachnid threat.

The idiot had detonated three nukes in close proximity, only the massive surge of arachnid bodies had saved the M.I. Soldiers from cooking in the fireball. Only Harris had been close enough to take damage.

"Listen up Apes, Monsoon squad is pinned down by flyers in sector Tango three, 'Intel' reported that they have critical data for the continued offensive on this rock, that means we move NOW!"

Settling her rifle Dizzy followed Bruno as she set out to settle a score.

--

Xander opened his eyes and glared at the medic on the other side of the glass tube he was stuck in. "Can I go now?" he asked as the woman checked his vitals on the computer before looking back at him.

"You survived the near miss of a pee-wee Mr. Harris, you should be busy healing from first through third degree rad burns."

"You said should, does that mean something's wrong?" Xander asked as the woman sighed and shook her head.

"No, in fact you're perfectly fit that's what concerns us, no one should be in as good a shape as you after that." The doctor said as Xander shrugged in the green water he was stuck in.

"So I got lucky, you said I'm fine let me go."

Considering it a moment the doctor finally pressed a button and started to drain the fluid. "I'm doing this only under protest, you need at least another three days of rest before I can release you for active service."


End file.
